Today I feel like my entire life is sitting in limbo. Waiting for me to make either a right or wrong choice. Problem is I don’t know what is the wrong choice tell its made and we are way past the point of going back.

It’s kinda reflective of my past and present. I am stuck between the pain and emotions of the past and what ever the future brings in my mind the future is always great. Full of great changes, easy life and happiness. Problem is whenever the timeline comes and it is the present it isn’t as great as I thought it would be.

I think we are all dreamers by nature. That’s not a bad thing. But when those dreams consistently become just that dreams it gets a person down.  It seems in my life for every positive I get two negatives thrown at me.

At work I have a lot of quiet time. One day I was thinking about how my husband just can’t get happy at any job and goes from job to job to job. I am tired of it I want constancy. So I thought instead of putting it all on him maybe I need to do something different. I thought maybe I need to as my sister says I should do. Go back to school to get a carrier and not just a job. But it seems even doing that is so hard. From getting the placement test down after work but before the meeting with the advisor. All in one day because school deadlline. I gotta keep trying its all I have.

Besides working and going to school will keep my mind busy. No time to think. No time to hurt. No time to question the things I think about when I am sad. I and I alone have the power to continue this life the way it is or venture alone even if it hurts people.

I will go over that more in detail later. One day when I tell about me and my husband and our life then and now.